Tales of the Toddy is the premier cocktail event of the holiday season here in the Crescent City. Think of it as a Christmastime taste of the 5-day “Tales of the Cocktail” Festival held every July. But for my many friends who will be first-timers, we have a few tips to make the evening happier (and especially the next morning).
1. Have a designated driver (This does NOT mean the least drunk member of your party).
2. If you ignore rule #1, have the number of United Cab programmed in your cell phone (522-9771, or 524-9606). A taxi is significantly cheaper than a DUI.
3. Eat a decent meal prior to arriving – never drink on an empty stomach.
4. Continue to snack on the food offerings as the evening progresses.
5. Arrive hydrated. Bottled water is available and located around the rooms. It’s there for a reason. If you consume the equivalent of an entire cocktail, sip on a bottle of water while enjoying the company of friends old and new.
6. It takes about an hour for your body to metabolize an ounce of alcohol – pace yourself. Sip on drinks rather than gulping them down – the point of a well made drink is to enjoy it.
7. No one likes a sloppy, loud, or out-of-control drunk. If this is you, maybe this isn’t the event for you.
8. If you feel yourself somewhat buzzed, it may be a sign to switch to water to avoid going over the edge; especially if you have to work on Friday.
9. If you enjoy this event, “like” the Tales of the Cocktail Facebook page for updates on other Tales-related news.
10. Be patient if waiting for a drink, the bartenders are working hard and will get it to you as soon as they can. But remember, quality may take a little longer. I can tell you that everything at this event will probably be made from scratch using fresh ingredients. This results in a superior drink experience. It’s worth any wait.
11. Don’t forget to come over and say hello – I enjoy seeing everyone and love my friends in our wonderful little cocktail community. You are some of the most wonderful people I have met in New Orleans – I mean that.
12. Relax and enjoy the holidays in America’s most interesting city!
Disclaimer required by my lawyer: Neither myself nor this little blog is speaking for nor affiliated with Tales in any way. I just drink their cocktails and take an entire week of vacation every July to attend. I might also count the months and days till Tales 2012. But that’s just me, and maybe a couple 15-20 thousand other Tales devotees. Warning: Imbibing alcoholic beverages may result in poor decisions. I am not responsible if you wake up with someone unexpected of the opposite (or same) sex, find yourself in a Youtube video of questionable taste, or involved in a sex scandal involving David Vitter and pampers.
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